We at times get to ask some hard questions of a person we love and these are great for starting the conversation.

Use this as a tool when you video tape as they answer in their own words

• Contents
• GREAT QUESTIONS FOR ANYONE 2
• QUESTIONS FOR A PARENT 3
• EARLY YEARS 8
• GROWING UP 9
• SCHOOL 10
• FOR TEACHERS 11
• AS AN ADULT 12
• FAMILY HERITAGE 14
• FRIENDS OR COLLEAGUES 14
• MARRIAGE & PARTNERSHIPS 14
• MUSIC 15
• JUSTICE 15
• MILITARY 16
• REMEMBERING THE FALLEN 19
• MY TOP 5… 19
• WHAT IS OR WAS YOUR… 20
• PARENTS 21
• GRANDPARENTS 22
• RAISING CHILDREN 23
• LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS 23
• RELIGION 24
• REMEMBERING A LOVED ONE 25
• SERIOUS ILLNESS 26
• WORKING 27
• FOLLOW UPS 27

GREAT QUESTIONS FOR ANYONE

Can you tell me about the important people in your life?

What have been some of the happiest moments in your life? The saddest?

Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did that person or those people teach you?

Can you tell me about a moment when a person’s kindness made a difference in your life?

What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in life?

What is your earliest memory?

What is your favorite memory of me?

Are there any funny stories your family tells about you, that come to mind?

Are there any funny stories or memories or characters from your life that you want to tell me about?

What are you proudest of?

When in life have you felt most alone?

If you could hold on to memories from your life forever, which would they be?

How has your life been different than what you’d imagined?

How would you like to be remembered?

Do you have any regrets?

What does your future hold?

What are your hopes for what the future holds for me?

What are your hopes for my children?

If this was to be our very last conversation, is there anything you’d want to say to me?

For generations listening to these years from now, is there any wisdom you’d want to pass on to them? What would you want them to know?

Is there anything that you’ve never told me but want to tell me now?

Are there things about me that you’ve always wanted to know but have never asked?

If you could talk to a younger version of yourself, what would you say?

What were your first impressions of me? How did they change?

QUESTIONS FOR A PARENT

Were you named after anyone?

Did you like or dislike your name? Why?

If you could choose a different name, what would it be?

How old were your parents when you were born?

Are there any stories you were told about your birth?

Were you a healthy baby, or were there health concerns?

What are some stories your parents have shared with you about when you were a baby?

What is your earliest memory?

What was the same or different about the way you were cared for as a baby compared to the way your own parents were cared for?

What do you know about the house you lived in as a baby? How Long did you live there?

Describe a character or personality trait you inherited from each (or either) of you parents. Be sure to say which parent for each trait.

Does your name have a special meaning? If so, what does it mean?

How many siblings do you have and which birth order are you in your family?

 Did you have special toys or items that were precious to you, and what’s the story of how they came to you?

What type of games did you enjoy playing with your friends, siblings, or on your own?

What childhood fears do you remember having? For example, did you think there were monsters under the bed?

What are some of the smells, sounds, or tastes that bring you back to your childhood?

Describe places where you spent most of your free time when you were little, Your room? Your backyard? A friend’s house?

Did you have your own room growing up?

What did you like or dislike about the area you lived growing up?

What were mealtimes like growing up? Were there strict routines?

Describe your childhood kitchen- the smells, tastes, sounds, textures and colors.

Were there any foods you disliked as a child and do you still dislike them today?

Did you have regular chores to do at home, and how did you feel about this at the time?

Other than your parents, were there any other adult roles models in your childhood? What made them Important to you?

What is an activity you used to do with your parents?

Did you feel connected to both your parents growing up or just one more than the other? And why?

Did your family have any struggles that had to be overcome? Did they shield you from them or did you play an active role in overcoming them?

Were you given an allowance? If so, can you remember how much? And what did you spend it on?

Did you have enough money growing up?

Describe the biggest influences in your life during your school years in what ways did they influence you good or bad?

What did you like or dislike most about grade school?

What subject did you wish was taught in school?

 What were your favorite subjects in school?

Did you play any sports or instruments or participate in any extracurricular school activities?

Describe a standout memory or memories from your high school years.

Describe a proud achievement during your childhood or /teenage years.

What do you remember most about summertime and other times you were out of school as a kid?

Did you have a best friend or a close group of friends? Do you still keep in touch with any of them today?

Did you have any friends whom your parents disapproved of? What caused their disapproval?

Did you go on family vacations? If so, what memories do you have of them?

What special dates did your family celebrate each year? How did you celebrate them?

Is there a particular childhood birthday party or other celebration that stands out in your memory? Why does it stand out?

Do you consider your childhood to have been a happy one?

What advice would you give to your teenage self today?

Did you always have a clear vision of what you wanted to do in life?

Did you attend college or a trade school?

What were the highlights of your post-high school experience?

Do you have any regrets about your time after high school? Would you have done anything different?

What was the first job you had where you earned a paycheck? And how old were you?

How did you get your first job?

Describe what jobs you have had.

What’s the best job you ever had? And why?

Where was the first place you lived when you left your parents’ home?

How old were you when you started wearing makeup?

Were you a follower of fashion? Which clothes, hair and makeup or trends?

 What pets have you had in your life? What were their names?

What hobbies have you had, have? When did you start and how did you get into them?

What activities do you love doing or that bring you joy?

EARLY YEARS

What did you name your first doll, stuffed animal, or special blanket? Describe what it/they looked like.

What type of clothes did you like to wear when you were a teen? Describe your favorite outfit(s).

What were some typical family meals? Which one did you most look forward to?

As a child, who were you told you resembled, if anyone?

Aside from your parents, which relatives do you remember being around when you were a child and what do you remember about them?

did your parents make time to play games or do activities with you? What memories stand out?

Were you encouraged to save money as a child, or were you free to spend it on anything you liked?

What schoolyard games or trends were popular when you were growing up?

What was the “in thing” for kids at the time?

When you were little, what did you dream of being when you grew up and who encouraged you to believe in your dreams?

Did your parents want you to pursue a certain profession or job? If so, what, and why?

Was there something that you were the first to do in your family? Was it a big deal at the time?

How old were you when you first left home permanently? How did you feel on the day you left?

Are there leisure activities you used to spend a lot of time doing that you no longer do? What changed?

What do you look forward to doing in your later years or when you retire?

What was your parents’ relationship like with their parents (your grandparents)?

What behaviors do you see in yourself that you also see (or saw) in your grandparents?

Thinking of all your ancestors whom you never knew, which one would you most like to meet and why?

Did you have a favorite or least favorite aunt, uncle, or cousin?

What stories can you tell me about them?

GROWING UP

When and where were you born?

Where did you grow up?

What was it like?

Who were your parents?

What were your parents like?

How was your relationship with your parents?

Did you get into trouble? What was the worst thing you did?

Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?

What did you look like?

How would you describe yourself as a child? Were you happy?

What is one of your best memories of childhood? Worst?

Did you have a nickname? How’d you get it?

Who were your best friends? What were they like?

How would you describe a perfect day when you were young?

What did you think your life would be like when you were older?

Do you have any favorite stories from your childhood?

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

SCHOOL

Did you enjoy school?

What kind of student were you?

What would you do for fun?

How would your classmates remember you?

Are you still friends with anyone from that time in your life?

What are your best memories of grade school/high school/college/graduate school? Worst memories?

Was there a teacher or teachers who had a particularly strong influence on your life? Tell me about them.

Do you have any favorite stories from school?

FOR TEACHERS

When and why did you decide to become a teacher?

Tell me about your first day as a teacher.

How is teaching different from how you imagined it to be?

Tell me about a time when teaching made you feel hopeful.

What are the most challenging and/or funniest moments you’ve experienced in the classroom?

How would you like your students to remember you?

Was there a teacher or teachers who had a particularly strong influence on your life? What did you learn about teaching from them?

Looking back, what advice would you give to yourself in your first year of teaching?

AS AN ADULT

How did you know when you were in love?

What milestone of child rearing were you excited to reach?

Is there one piece of parenting advice you received that you feel you should pass down to new generations of parents in your family?

Who was the first person you told you were going to be a parent or grandparent?

Were there any moments when you realized you were more like your parents than you thought?

 What is your favorite memory about parenthood in general?

How old were you when you voted for the first time?

Who is or was the best president or prime minister of your lifetime?

Do you think it’s ok to tell a lie? Why or why not?

What role does religion have in your life?

Do you believe in miracles? Have you ever experienced a miracle? If so, what was it?

What are you grateful for?

What can you do better than anyone else in the family?

Was having a family as rewarding as you thought it would be?

Is there any area of your life you neglected that you wish you hadn’t? If so, what is it?

What was the hardest lesson for you to learn as you grew up?

What family traditions do you hope to pass down and why?

What is something you’re proud of that nobody would know about?

Has there been an event that has changed the course of your life? If so, explain it.

Describe a time when you had to show courage.

Have you ever taken a stand against what your friends or family wanted to do, or did you follow the crowd?

Looking back, what would you have done differently, if anything?

Have you ever wanted to have your own business? If so, what kind of business would it be?

Do you think there is a secret or key to happiness? If so, what is it?

What is something your parents taught you that you didn’t fully understand or appreciate until you were an adult?

What is a mistake you made that never want your children to repeat?

What important lessons you’ve learned about relationships?

FAMILY HERITAGE

Where are your parents’ families from?

Have you ever been there? What was that experience like?

What traditions have been passed down in your family?

Who were your favorite relatives?

Do you remember any of the stories they used to tell you?

What are the classic family stories? Jokes? Songs?

FRIENDS OR COLLEAGUES

If you could interview anyone from your life living or dead, but not a celebrity, who would it be and why?

What is your first memory of me?

Was there a time when you didn’t like me?

What makes us such good friends?

How would you describe me? How would you describe yourself?

Where will we be in 10 years? 20 years?

Do you think we’ll ever lose touch with each other?

MARRIAGE & PARTNERSHIPS

How did you meet your spouse/partner?

How did you know they were “the one”?

How did you propose?

What were the best times? The most difficult times?

Did you ever think of getting divorced?

Did you ever get divorced? Can you tell me about it?

What advice do you have for young couples?

Do you have any favorite stories from your marriage or about your spouse/partner?

MUSIC

What is your favorite song?

What kind of music do you enjoy?

Do you or did you play any instruments?

Were you in a band?

Did your parents play any instruments?

JUSTICE

Tell me about the first time you were aware that the criminal justice system existed.

Has your experience with the justice system changed you or your outlook? How?

How has the criminal justice system affected your life?

What do you wish others knew about the criminal justice system?

Can you describe how you were arrested?

How did your family and friends find out you were going to jail?

What was jail like? Can you describe what it looked, smelled and sounded like?

How did you communicate with people outside?

Do you remember how you felt at the time when you were convicted? How did it change you?

Tell me about the day you were released.

What do you wish someone had told you about re-entry?

What have been the happiest moments since you were released?

Do you feel free? Why or why not?

Tell me about what helped/helps you keep going?

If you could change one thing about the criminal justice system, what would it be?

MILITARY

When were you drafted or when did you enlist?

What do you remember about the day you enlisted?

How did you tell your family and friends that you were joining the military? Are there any conversations that stand out from that time?

If you enlisted, what were some of the reasons that you joined the military? How did you choose your branch of service?

How did you imagine military life before you joined? How did your perceptions change after serving?

What was basic training like?

Can you describe a funny moment from your time in the military?

What are some of the things you remember about adapting to military life?

Where did you serve during the war?

If you deployed overseas, how did you tell your loved ones you were being deployed?

How did you stay in touch with family and friends back home?

What are some things you remember most about your deployment?

If you saw multiple deployments, how did they differ from each other? How did you change?

Can you describe how you felt coming home from combat?

Was there anything you especially missed about civilian life?

Is there someone you served with that you remember fondly? Can you tell me about them?

What are some fun things you and your friends did together while you were deployed?

Did any of your military friends play pranks on each other? Can you describe a funny one?

Did you ever get caught breaking any rules? Did you ever get away with something you weren’t supposed to do?

Did you ever learn something about a fellow service member that surprised you?

When did you leave the military? What was that process like?

What were your first few months out of the service like?

Was there anything or anyone that helped you during the transition from military to civilian life?

Do you have advice for others transitioning out of the military?

How do you think your time in the military affected you?

What did you learn about yourself?

What are some of your hopes for the future?

What phrase or word will never be the same now that you served?

When you were first discharged, what are some things about civilians that were difficult for you to deal with?

Is there anything you wish civilians understood about military service?

What are some habits you developed in the service that you like? What are some that you dislike?

What are some things you miss about being in the service? What are some you are glad to have left behind?

What has been difficult to communicate to family and friends about your military service?

Do you have advice for other military couples?

If you have children, what do you want them to know about your military service?

Remembering the Fallen

Remembering the Fallen: What was your relationship to _______?

Remembering the Fallen: Tell me about _______.

Remembering the Fallen: What did _______ look like?

Remembering the Fallen: What is one of your favorite memories of _______?

Remembering the Fallen: How did you find out about _______’s death?

Remembering the Fallen: What has helped you most in your grief?

Remembering the Fallen: Do you have any traditions to honor _______?

Remembering the Fallen: Do you have any funny stories about the two of you together?

My top five

My top five… things to be thankful for in life

My top five… Activities on your bucket list

My top five… “essential” items that you always have in your purse or pockets

My top five… most memorable restaurant meals

My top five… pet peeves

My top five… phobias or irrational fears

My top five… Biggest adventures in life so far

My top five… items on your “things i Will Never Do” list

What is or was your…

Do you share a birthday with anyone famous?

Would you describe yourself as a leader or a follower?

If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would it be and why?

What TV shows did you watch most when you were a kid?

What candy bar did you love as a child?

How many of your childhood/school friends are you still in contact with?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Have you ever had a “supernatural” experience, or an experience you couldn’t explain?

Have you ever been told you look like someone famous? If so, who?

What type of chocolate do you always pick out of the box first?

What have you done in life that you said you would never do?

What are your thoughts on reincarnation?

What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?

Have you ever wished on a star and had the wish come true?

What one change would you like to make to the law?

Do you read your horoscope? Do you ever believe it?

Which famous people did you have a crush on when you were growing up?

Is there something you have secretly always wanted to do that might surprise people?

Is there something you always wanted as a child but didn’t get until you were an adult?

Have you ever made the same mistake twice? If so, what was it?

What is one of the bravest things you’ve ever had to do?

PARENTS

Do you remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?

How did you choose my name?

What was I like as a baby? As a young child?

Do you remember any of the songs you used to sing to me? Can you sing them now?

What were my siblings like?

What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up?

If you could do everything again, would you raise me differently?

What advice would you give me about raising my own kids?

What are your dreams for me?

How did you meet mom/dad?

How do you think we are alike? How do you think we are different?

Are you proud of me?

GRANDPARENTS

Where did you grow up?

What was your childhood like?

Who were your favorite relatives?

Do you remember any of the stories your grandparents used to tell you?

How did you and grandma/grandpa meet?

What was my mom/dad/parent like growing up?

Do you remember any songs that you used to sing to your children? Can you sing them now?

Were your grandparents well-behaved?

What is the worst thing your grandparents ever did?

What were your parents like?

What were your grandparents like?

How would you like to be remembered?

Are you proud of me?

RAISING CHILDREN

When did you first find out that you’d be a parent? How did you feel?

Did you always know you wanted to be a parent?

Can you describe the moment when you saw your child for the first time?

How has being a parent changed you?

What have you learned about yourself from being a parent?

What are your dreams for your children?

Do you remember when your last child left home for good?

Do you have any favorite stories about your kids?

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

Do you have a love of your life?

When did you first fall in love?

Can you tell me about your first kiss?

What was your first serious relationship?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Do you ever think about previous lovers?

What lessons have you learned from your relationships?

Who were the “ones that got away” in your life?

What was the hardest break up you’ve ever experienced?

Do you remember the best date you ever went on?

Do you remember your first date?

RELIGION

Can you tell me about your religious beliefs/spiritual beliefs? What is your religion?

How did you come to your faith? From your family? From a particular experience or set of experiences?

How has your faith evolved over time?

Have you experienced any miracles?

What was the most profound spiritual moment of your life?

Do you believe in God?

How have you experienced God (or a Higher Power) in your life?

Do you believe in the after-life? What do you think it will be like?

When you meet God, what do you want to say?

Have there been moments that tested your faith? What were those challenges and how did they impact your faith?

REMEMBERING A LOVED ONE

What was your relationship to _____?

Tell me about _____.

What is your first memory of _____?

What is your best memory of _____?

What is your most vivid memory of _____?

What did _____ mean to you?

Are you comfortable/ can you talk about _____’s death? How did _____ die?

What has been the hardest thing about losing _____?

What would you ask _____ if _____ were here today?

What do you miss most about _____?

How do you think _____ would want to be remembered?

Can you talk about the biggest obstacles _____ overcame in life?

Was there anything you and _____ disagreed about, fought over, or experienced some conflict around?

What about _____ makes you smile?

What was your relationship like?

What did _____ look like?

Did you have any favorite jokes _____ used to tell?

Do you have any stories you want to share about _____?

What were _____’s hopes and dreams for the future?

Is there something about _____ that you think no one else knows?

How are you different now than you were before you lost _____?

What is the image of _____ that persists?

Do you have any traditions to honor _____?

What has helped you the most in your grief?

What are the hardest times?

SERIOUS ILLNESS

Can you tell me about your illness?

Do you think about dying? Are you scared?

How do you imagine your death?

Do you believe in an after-life?

Do you regret anything?

Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?

Do you have any last wishes?

If you were to give advice to me or others in our family, what would it be?

What have you learned from life? The most important things?

Has this illness changed you? What have you learned?

How do you want to be remembered?

WORKING

Describe the work that you do.

Tell me about how you got into your line of work.

Do you like your job?

What did you think you were going to be when you grew up?

What did you want to be when you grew up?

What lessons has your work life taught you?

If you could do anything now, what would you do? Why?

Do you plan on retiring? If so, when? How do you feel about it?

Do you have any favorite stories from your work life?

FOLLOW UPS

In Closing is there anything that you would like to add to your story?